Learning to let go.

The hardest part of being a parent is learning to let go!  Your child starts out as this perfect little being that is 100% dependent on you.  You love him more than yourself.  He grew in your womb and  drank from your breast.  For his first year of life he was still a part of you.  Then slowly you have got to share him with the world.  You let people babysit him, you send him to preschool.  But you are still the constant in his life!  You are His Mum.  He loves you and still needs you.  Then “real” school starts and he has teachers, bus drivers, and friends.  You are no longer the only one who is teaching your child.  There are outside forces that are molding him into the man that you are raising.  You hope he remembers to be kind, to help others in need and to be strong.  You get through elementary school, junior high and high school.  Your baby is now a grown man!  He is making his own choices and living his own life.  Then he decideds to drop out of school and work for a living.  What?  That is not my plan for him!  You know this decision that he is making is going to make his life harder.  You try to share your opinion but he does not want to hear it.  So, you yell it louder, so he can hear you better!  But that does not work because you both are now yelling and screaming saying things you do not mean.  You try to get him to see this from your point of view because you know you are right! He needs to stay in school so he can be the person that you envisioned him to be.  So, you continue to yell and scream,  beg and cry.  So what happens next?  He moves out!  You are devastated! What?  You are still a child!  My child!  You are not ready to be on your own.  You cry the first night he is not home.  Your world is changing and you are not ready and then it hits you! You are not ready, it has nothing to do with him, it is you! I am being selfish.  I am trying to hold him back.  This is his life.  I taught him to be independent and to follow his dreams.  To be brave and to stick up for himself when he wants to do something that people might not agree with.  Here I am his cheerleader all throughout his childhood trying my hardest to hold him back for myself.  Oh my goodness!  I have to stop! and let him go.  Am I pleased that he droped out of school?  Hell no! but I am glad that he is following his dreams.  I tell him and myself that he can always go back to school.  You are never too old to learn new things.  He is still on his own and I miss seeing him every night.  I do get to see him a few times a week when he comes over for dinner and does his laundry and we sit and chit chat.  Our relationship has changed.  It is no longer a relationship of me telling him what to do but one that ebbs and flows.  I love him with all my heart and I want the best for him.  But I had to accept that my job has changed from care giver to that of a confidant and maybe even a friend.

Cassie Ricco


1 thought on “Learning to let go.

  1. Elaine Baker

    Nice going Mom. And yes, he sure can go back to school later, maybe when he is even more sure of what he wants to do and be. And isn’t it nice to know that the independent man you wanted him to be and taught him to be has been so successful. Good luck to both of you.


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